Time to Face the Truth
by jfine
Summary: Post-Judgment Day. What happens, up to the last minute before Tony leaves for the USS Reagan. Saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do. *Spoilers for Judgment Day and anything before it* Collaboration with my friend Kate. Tiva-esque.


Ziva stood silently as Director Vance handed Gibbs the folders of his new Agents. She looked at Tony and sighed. She could not even look at the Director, she was so angry. First Jenny and now they were terminated or reassigned.

"You may return to the squad room and start packing."...Director Vance instructed.

Gibbs gripped the files tightly as he escorted his team out the door. It was eerie how quiet it was as they walked down the stairs.

They moved to their desks for the last time, except for Tony, he stopped by the cubicle wall next to Ziva's desk..."Boss?"

Gibbs looked towards him as he caught a set of keys Tony tossed..."Have your new senior field agent take good care of your medals now, ya hear?"...Tony sighed..."It was an honor, Boss."

Tony turned towards McGee..."Take care of yourself, Probie."...Tony cleared his throat..."Tim."

He turned towards Ziva, he tried his hardest to say something as she turned to him, but he couldn't. He turned and moved to the elevator, pushing the button, he tilted his head down, pressing his forehead against the door.

"Tony?"...Ziva turned around as the elevator door opened and he got in. She quickly darted from her desk trying to catch up to him before it was too late.

"Tony, wait!"...Ziva slammed her first into the door as it closed.

She slowly started to move back to her desk, she stopped, kicking off her heels, she ran to the stairwell door and through it.

She moved down the stairs and through a door, rushing into Abby's lab, Abby was crying.

Abby moved her hand to her cheek..."If you're looking for Tony, he's gone, he hugged me, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said goodbye."

Abby opened her arms..."Ziva...why?"...She pulled Ziva into her chest, hugging her.

" I do not know Abby... "

Ziva pulled her into hug her and she started to cry a bit

"I came down to try and find him and then to say goodbye. Tony, McGee and I have been fired. Actually McGee is only being moved to Cyber Crimes... but still. I need to go and find him."...Ziva smiled weakly and left the lab.

Ziva stepped out of Abby's lab, the elevator dinged, the doors slowly started to open. Ducky stood quietly inside..."Ah, my dear...I just heard from Anthony."...Ducky expressed remorse towards her.

"What did he say Ducky?"...Ziva said, sounding like she in a hurry.

"Goodbye, Ziva. He said, goodbye."...Ducky lowered his head..."He feels solely responsible for Jenny's death. I tried to talk to him, but he handed me a 50 dollar bill for 'the spirits' and left. I'm was just heading up to talk to Gibbs, someone needs to talk to the lad."

"Did Tony say where he was going?"...Ziva pleaded.

"Sorry, he didn't say."...Ducky turned, patting Ziva on the arm as the elevator doors opened..."I know you care for him, Ziva...I truly am sorry."

Ducky stepped out..."Jethro, may I have a word with you?"

Ziva stepped out of the elevator, she grabbed her shoes and tossed them angrily into the elevator, before walking back into it. She turned around, looking visibly upset as the doors closed.

As the doors closed she sighed and hers eyes teared up. She quickly gathered herself as the doors opened. She walked off and slid her heels on and walked to her car. She got in her car and started to get angrier and angrier. She got to the point to where she started hitting her steering wheel and she crossed her hands on it and laid her head down..."Why?"

Ziva buckled up and started her car and pulled out heading who knows where.

* * *

Several boxes sat on a coffee table. Tony walks over, placing some items inside one of them, he was packing his most cherished things, which consisted mostly of: DVDs, a photo album, numerous trophies and wall-mounted items from his past.

He wondered where to take them. He didn't know how long he was gonna be on the Reagan. It could be 6 weeks, months or possibly years.

His phone rang, but he didn't answer it. The answering machine clicked on..."DiNozzo, you know what to do."...The machine beeped.

"Tony... it's Ziva. Umm, I am going to the bar and hopefully you are there. If you are not I will be there for a while. I will talk to you later."

Tony looked at the answering machine and sighed.

He wanted so much to talk to her, tell her his true feelings, but how could he, he was leaving in the morning. It just was not meant to be.

He sat on the edge of his coffee table and thought about how he failed Jenny and even worse, Gibbs.

30 minutes went by and Ziva had just finished her first drink.."Heidi! Another mojito please!"

"Comin' up!"...Heidi replied.

Ziva took out her cellphone and called Tony again.

* * *

Tony pulls a roll of duct tape along the edges of closed box, taping it shut.

His phone rings again and once again, it goes straight to the answering machine. Ziva spoke up, begging Tony to pick up if he was there.

Tony quickly closed his eyes, giving in, he took a step towards the phone, but that was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Who is it?"...Tony called out, but there was no answer.

Tony made a beeline to the front door, he looked through the peephole. He pulled back, yanking at the handle as he stepped away from the door..."Come on in, Gibbs."

* * *

Ziva sighed, she snapped her cell closed..."This one is on the house."...Heidi said, placing the mojito in front of Ziva..."Hopefully it'll put a smile on your face."

"I doubt it, Heidi... I am flying back home to Israel soon. This may be my last time here."...Ziva said, frowning.

Heidi looked at her and sighed..."Oh...how about I just supply you with your drinks tonight? Okay?"

Ziva looked at Heidi and smiled.

"Thanks Heidi."

Heidi smiled and walked off to serve someone else. Ziva picked up her phone and tried Tony again.

* * *

"What's wrong, Tony?"...Gibbs said, walking towards a seated Tony.

"Whatever could you mean, Gibbs? I'm just..."...Tony smiled big..."Swell."

"What's with the silent job to Ziva?"

"You're right in time to help me pack...we all know you're good with wood boards, how about cardboard?"...Tony smirked.

"Stop it, DiNozzo."

"What, Gibbs? What do you want me to say?"

"The truth!"

"You can't handle the truth!"

"DiNozzo!"...Gibbs yelled at the top of his lung.

Tony sighed deeply, lowering his head into his hands..."I'm sorry, Boss...I'm so sorry."

The phone started to ring again, the machine kicked on...Ziva's voice spoke:

* * *

"Tony... it seems you are not home. So I guess you have already left. I hope you are alright and...Tony, it was a pleasure working with you. I enjoyed it. Be safe. Shalom."...Ziva sighed and hung up again. She had finally given up.

Gibbs' eyes swung from the answering machine, he stepped towards Tony, placing his hand on his shoulder..."It wasn't your fault, Tony."

"She's dead because I didn't do my job, Gibbs!"

"She gave you an order, DiNozzo."

"Yeah, but would you have took that order? I was the senior field agent, it was my call and she's dead and it's all my damn fault!"

"Yeah, go ahead, Tony. Blame yourself, crawl into a big black hole, drinking yourself so drunk you can't see straight and bury that shit so freakin' deep, you'll never get it out!"

"Is that want you wanted me to do, Boss? Become you? I'm well on my way!"

Gibbs shook his head, he turned picking up one of the filled boxes and walked out the front door.

* * *

Ziva had now partially finished her second drink and she turned her hed to see Michael Locke enter the bar. Michael spotted Ziva and approached her..."Hey, you okay?"...Michael asked, worried.

"No, I am being sent back home to Israel to the Mossad. My position with NCIS has been terminated. So I am going home in a few days possibly."...Ziva said, she smiled weakly.

"Well, how about I buy you a few more drinks and you can come home with me again? How about it?"...Michael asked with charm. Ziva just flashed a reflective smile and did not answer. She did not know if Tony was coming or not.

* * *

Tony heard a crash, Gibbs stepped back through the door grabbing another box and moved back towards the door.

Tony rose, moving to the door, Gibbs tosses the second box onto the lawn in front of Tony's apartment building.

"What in the hell are you doing, Gibbs?!"

"You've given up, DiNozzo. You don't need this shit. Your life is going, isn't it?"

Tony lowered his head, sighing..."Might as well be."...He turned..."I've lost everything...the job I love, the woman I..."...Tony sighed again.

"What was that?"...Gibbs asked, turning back towards Tony.

"Nothing."

"Tell her, DiNozzo."

"Tell who, what, Gibbs?"

"Ziva."

"Tell Ziva what?"

"You love her."

* * *

Ziva stared blankly into nowhere... thinking about losing her job, Jenny and Tony. She decided to give it one last try. She picked up her cellphone and dialed. Ziva prayed Tony would pick up.

The phone started to ring again, Gibbs walked into his apartment as Ziva started to talk, he picked it up..."Ziva..."...Gibbs said.

* * *

Tony was still in the middle of lawn, he was squatting, pulling his boxes next to one around, there was a huge dent on the side of one of them.

"Be a man...isn't that what she told you?"...Tony asked himself..."I don't even know if she even loves me, hell, likes me...whenever I think about her inviting everyone except me to her dinner party, it tears me up inside...honestly, what am I to her?"...He sighed.

"Where is Tony, Gibbs? I wish to speak with him."...Ziva said getting out of her chair and gesturing Michael to wait a minute. Ziva left to go stand somewhere quiet.

"He's outside, working on some boxes."...Gibbs shook his head, even when he didn't mean it, whatever Tony was doing, involved a sexual reference..."Damn it, DiNozzo."

Gibbs sighed..."You still at the bar? What are you doing at a bar anyway, Officer David?"

"Yes I am still here... "...Ziva sighed.

"Tony left without saying anything to me. I tried to find him to tell him something and anywhere I knew he would be, he was not there. I felt like he was avoiding me Gibbs."

"What, that you love him? Is that what you're gonna tell him?"...Gibbs asked, without hesitation.

Tony sighed as he stood, it had started to rain. He looked up..."Thanks, God."

He goes to pick up one of the boxes and the bottom falls out of it..."Great, can it get any worse?! HUH?"...Tony yelled, looking back up.

A lightning strike in the distance, makes Tony jump..."Not funny, God! Not funny at all!"...It started to rain harder.

* * *

"Actually...yes. Please let me speak with him. It is important I tell him this before I leave...tomorrow morning."...Ziva said as she approached Michael again.

"I did not plan to do this so early. My life has been so stressful lately Gibbs. First Ari, Paula, Andy and then Jenny. I can not do this anymore. I just need to tell him. Please."

Gibbs stepped out the front door, but Tony was gone, his car was gone, but the boxes remained.

Gibbs groaned..."He's gone, Ziva."...Gibbs hangs up the phone, moving towards the boxes.

* * *

Ziva closed her phone softly, she looked at Michael and smiled..."So, where did you say you wanted to go?

Michael smiled and turned to her..."Home for tonight, meet me by my car... oh wait did you drive here? "

Ziva nodded.

"Ok, wait by your car and I will be out in a minute. I just need to go to the restroom and pay for these."...Michael said.

Ziva again nodded and walked outside and her eyes started to well with tears, thinking she may never see Tony ever again.

Tony drove up outside of the bar, Ziva was covering her head as she ran out to the car.

Michael Locke ran out seconds later. Moving quickly towards Ziva..."You ready to go?"...He said with a smile, he placed his hand his hand on her waist, he leans in kissing her softly on the lips.

Tony's eyes were glued to them, he shook his head and sighed deeply. He slammed on the gas, making Ziva and Michael turned their head towards the acceleration and tires spinning on the wet road.

"You always do that, DiNozzo, force them into other people's arms...you fuckin' idiot."

"Yes I am ready... "...Ziva stared at the speeding car and sighed. She got in the car and waved at Michael as he headed towards his car. She could not get her mind off the car that just sped off.

Tony drove around all night, lost in his mind. Not knowing what to say, do.

Only thing he knew was, he was going to the USS Reagan tomorrow and he was happy about it.

Maybe it was good for him.

Maybe he could get his mind off of failing Jenny, Gibbs.

Or maybe he would spiral deeper into his mind, the real Tony never to be seen again.

* * *

That night Ziva laid in bed sleeping with her arm around Michaels chest. They had just fallen asleep after 5 hours and she was exhausted. She was leaving this day at 2pm on her flight back to Israel and all she could think of was Tony and how she could finally see him. Ziva slowly woke up and stirred until she was awake. Ziva slowly got out of bed and was careful not to wake him up. She slipped on her bra and panties and then got on her dress. She softly opened the bedroom door and made her way out quietly carrying her heels and purse. She opened his front door and a few moments later she was at her car. She got in and drove away.

30 minutes later she stopped in front of Tony's house and there was not car. She parked and got out and went to sit on his front steps and waited.

* * *

Tony pulled into Gibbs' driveway, behind Gibbs' truck. He steps out of the car and moved to the front door and knocked. He waited a couple minutes, then opened the door and walked inside.

"Gibbs?"...Tony called out, but there was no response.

Tony headed down into the basement. Both of Tony's boxes were sitting next to Gibbs' boat.

"Thanks, Boss."...Tony spoke to himself.

Tony turned back, heading back up the stairs, he walked towards the front door..."Tony."...Gibbs called out, coming out of the kitchen.

"Oh, hey...I just wanted to know if you wanted my car, I won't be needing it much."...Tony said, letting his keys falls through his fingers, his middle finger inside a metal hoop on his keychain.

"No, but you can leave it here if you want."

Tony nodded.

"You need a ride to the airport?"

"Yeah, if you have the time."

Gibbs nodded..."Did you talk to Ziva?"

"Naw."...Tony said, turning away.

"Why not?"

"No need to."

"DiNozzo, she..."

"Don't, Boss...just don't."...Tony cleared his throat..."Thanks for..."

"Not a problem, Tony...let me get my keys."

Tony walked to the door, opening it..."Thanks, Gibbs."

* * *

Ziva had driven back home and was loading her bags into her blue car. She was leaving stuff behind, cause a lot of it she did not need. Furniture, appliances, certain clothing. Ziva had just loaded the last bag in the car, she got in the car and drove off heading to Gibbs' place to hand over her badge and weapon.

When she arrived, she noticed Tony's car. The same car that sped away at the bar, but Gibbs' truck was nowhere to be seen.

She moved to the front door and knocked several times, but there was no answered. She turned the handle and moved inside. No one was there.

She took out her cell and clicked two on her speed dial...

"Gibbs."...Gibbs answered his phone.

"Yeah, where are you and Tony?!"...Ziva was annoyed and she wanted answers

Gibbs laughed..."About time, we're at the airport...meet us here. He isn't leaving for another hour and a half."

Ziva hung up her phone and hurried to her car, getting inside and sped off.

* * *

Gibbs snapped his cell closed.

Tony dropped a large duffel bag on the ground next to Gibbs..."I think I might be getting used to riding in the back of C-130's, Gibbs...on the way to and from Iraq, I actually slept some."

Gibbs chuckled..."That takes skill, DiNozzo."

"I learned from the best, Boss...Gibbs."

"Ahh, knock it off...I'll always be your boss, Tony."

Tony lowered his head..."Who was on the phone? We have a case? I mean, do you?"

"No."...Gibbs turned to Tony... "You're gonna be the law on one of the biggest ships in the world, Tony."

"Yeah, lets hope I don't screw that up, too."

Gibbs slaps Tony on the back of the head..."HEY!"

Tony stood staring into Gibbs' eyes.

Gibbs extended his hand towards Tony.

Tony shakes his hand, Gibbs pulls Tony into him, hugging him..."And I know you're gonna do me proud, son."...Gibbs whispered.

* * *

45 minutes later, Ziva pulled up outside of the airfield. She parked and got out of her Mini-Cooper.

Her cell phone rang...she looked down at it, it was from Gibbs. She answered it..."Gibbs?"

"You better hurry, Ziva...his plane is leaving in about 10 minutes, he caught an earlier flight."...Gibbs said, looking at Tony as he slowly walked towards the huge plane, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

Ziva looked at her watch..."Damn it."...She started to run.

Ziva stopped as she spotted Gibbs and darted towards them. Ziva ran up behind Gibbs and tapped him on the shoulder..."Hi, did I miss him?"

Gibbs pointed towards the plane and simply said..."Go."

Ziva looked where Gibbs was pointing and started running toward the plane, hoping to catch him. She saw him from behind as he entered the plane, she yelled..."Tony!"

She ran past a man in full flight suit, he turned..."Hey, you can't go on there!"...He yelled as she ran up a set of stairs, making her way into the plane.

He quickly followed her.

"Tony!"...Ziva called out. She ran and yelled for him

"Stop!"...The man yelled from behind her. Only causing her to run faster.

"Tony!"...She yelled again.

Tony was sitting between two cargo crates, slouching against his duffel bag. He heard his name, then saw Ziva running past him, followed closely by a man.

Tony stood, taking a step out, he turned looking at them as the man caught her..."Ma'am, this flight is leaving in 5 minutes and you are not authorized to be on it, if you do not leave now, I will call the MPs and they will escort you off the plane and you will be punished to the fullest extent of the law."

Ziva turned back, seeing Tony. She pushed the man out of the way and ran back towards him.

"Tony!"...Ziva ran at him and leaped into his arms hugging him..."I hope you were not going to leave without saying goodbye?"

Tony wrapped his arms around Ziva, he closed his eyes, burying his face into her hair, smelling her sweet scent.

He sighed pulling away, he just looked at her, looking like he wanted to cry.

"Tony? What is wrong?"...Ziva held his hand and her eyes teared up..."Please, tell me."

Tony lifted his free hand to Ziva's face, wiping away her tears as they started to fall..."Please, don't cry...I don't deserve your tears."

Ziva pulled back, looking perplexed..."What? Tony do you not know what I came here for? I searched all night for you, to tell you something."

Tony lowered his head..."Not all night...but that doesn't matter now...you should go."

"I was only at Michaels for 5 hours..."...Ziva looked at watch, Tony's flight was going to leave soon. She begged him to wait..."Tony...please, I only need a moment."

Tony shook his head in disgust, he had so many things he wanted to say to her, but he didn't. Instead, he started to turn away, taking a step back towards his duffel bag..."I hope he makes you happy."...He fought to get out.

"TONY!"...She yelped loudly..."I only went home with him because I was upset."

Tony continued to walk away, she held up his hand to him and blurted out loudly..."I LOVE YOU, TONY!"...Ziva started to cry.

Tony looked back at her, still shaking his head..."You have a weird way of showing it."

Tony turned away from her, moving back to his duffel bag, he flopped down on top of it. Ziva moved to him, looking down at him.

"Ma'am, you must leave the plane!"...The man in the flight suit raised his voice. She turned her head, looking at the man.

"As do you... "...Ziva once again looked at her watch, she took a deep breath..."Well, I should go now... good luck on the Reagan. "

Ziva slowly walked away from him, she stepped out the door and moved down the steps, looking back and sighing with each step.

Tony rose to his feet quickly, rushing past the man and jumped off the plane and ran towards Ziva as she crossed the tarmac.

"Sir, we're leaving in 4 minutes!"...The man yelled.

Tony moved up behind Ziva, grabbing her arm, turning her. She looked up at him.

"You know you can be a real bitch, you know that?!"...Tony yelled as the engine of the C-130 started.

She opened her mouth and was about to speak, but Tony placed his fingers over her mouth..."Just listen, please."...He slid his fingers down her chin slowly, fighting up the courage to speak his mind.

"I couldn't say goodbye to you. I can't. I won't, Ziva. I don't have the heart to do it."...He flashed her a weak smiled, but you could he was hating this.

Tony swallowed hard, on the verge of tears himself..."I really hate to quote James Blunt, but..."...Tony raised his hands to Ziva's face, cupping and caressing her face...

_"You're beautiful. You're beautiful.  
You're beautiful, it's true.  
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,  
When she thought up that I should be with you.  
But it's time to face the truth,  
I will NEVER be with you."_

Tony kissed her deeply on the lips.

"Sir!"...The man yelled again.

Tony pulled away, but quickly moved his mouth to Ziva's ear and whispered..."I love you, too."

Tony pulled away for real this time, allowing his fingertips to slide along and off her face. He backed up, staring at her, he smiled a crooked smile, he raised his hand half-heartedly, but he couldn't even wave goodbye to her. He turned and ran back towards the plane.

He moved up the stairs, looking back at her just before entering. He once again tried to say goodbye, but he couldn't, he loved her too much to even say it to himself.


End file.
